Homemade by azza - Baju/T-shirt, Chocolate,

Homemade by azza - Baju/T-shirt, Chocolate,

Monday, August 20, 2012

carving a smile while I can

Eid Mubarak! Tabaqaallahu minna wa minkum

Abroad again with my family here in Norway. I thought this feeling is the same with my previous experience. A memory of joy and a sad feeling while you cant be in Malaysia with your family.

Yet i feel some different.
An angle which strikes my heart while im thinking it deeply...
The character always a background role, yet it surely impacted the story line
A pile of memories come to search for the wonderful...
It wasnt the food that i was dreamt about
Abah absent is something that  im coping with

This Eid
I feel the need of being shoulder to my mum...
While myself misses the shoulder that i suppose to seek
This not the time for us to tears for the absent..
yet, it should be a day that we feel enjoyment of what we went through
but it just that....

i missed abah a lot...

On the last eid,
he cried while i hold his hand...
it was unusual and i spotted the different
the same on last look at the airport,
he cried and i felt the changing of his voice...
when i turn my face back while we walk to the passport control
i looked at his face...
a face of telling me something
..."Ibal, jangan diri&family baik2....abah sayang ibal..."
"Abah nak pergi dah..."
a look which I kept till this moment..

Oh Allah
Forgive Abah's sin
Keep he warm with your light and let he be among those who you accepted in Jannah
Oh Allah
Tell my Abah that i missed him so much
Love him so much
Feel of hugging him for the last...
Oh Allah
keep my mum calm
let she be strong and so my siblings
including me...
Forgive us and our family...
Accept our deed in the last Ramadhan..

Saturday, May 19, 2012

I'm yours

Share some song that i found interesting. Edges become clear, flower insyaAllah bloom again...out there, dont just copy song from others, but feel it with clear agenda...inaAllahha ma'ana...

Couldnt help it..

Walking thru my sister's blog made my heart tumble..
I always(almost every day) remember and dream about my abah, but i told no body...
so that I wish to contain it myself, but my wife always knew and stand back to support...
I search for hobby that keep me busy, search for fun thing, yet during the absent i feel the resistant...

I told no one including my mother on how I felt, yet keep her stronger is prioritized.
Am thinking of fly msia for good, just to comfort her and leads her way to a better..
including myself...

still remember on my last phone call with abah...
still remember on the last moment seeing abah at the airport where he looked very different and sad..
still remember on the last hug i gave when he felt about to cry...
still remember on his wisdom to me and my eldest brother...
still remember.....

abah, you such a hero..
abah was a teacher, was a responsible husband, was a lovely and strict father,
was my hero and...
always will be! =)

Allahuma firlana zunu bana waliwa lidaina war ham huma kama rabbayani sagghira ... (x1........)

My siblings, and people out there, remember below hadith...we can still love our lost one with prayers and our manners....

“apabila mati seseorang anak adam itu .. maka akan terhenti segala amalanya kecuali 3 perkara iaitu sedakah jariah, ilmu yang memberi guna, doa anak – anak yang soleh”

Daripada ibnu Umar r.a. bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. telah menziarahi Said bin Ubadah dan bersamanya Abdul Rahman bin Auf, Said bin Abu Waqas dan Abdullah bin Mas'ud r.a, kemudian Rasulullah s.a.w. menangis, lalu orang ramai yang ada bersama-sama baginda turut menangis. Seterusnya baginda bersabda, Adakah tidak kamu mendengar? Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mengazab orang mati dengan sebab linangan air mata atau susah hati, tetapi Allah akan menyiksa atau memberi rahmat kepada orang mati disebabkan ini, lalu baginda mengisyaratkan kepada lidahnya.
Huraian Hadith: 
1. Bersedih dan menangis kerana kematian seseorang yang dikasihi diharuskan oleh syarak dengan syarat ia tidak melampaui batas seperti meratapi serta meraung-raung dan sebagainya.
2. Penyeksaan atau rahmat terhadap orang mati bergantung kepada amalan lidah orang yang masih hidup di mana apabila lidah tersebut digunakan untuk memperkatakan kebaikan si mati ia akan mendatangkan kebaikan kepada si mati.
3. Sebaliknya jika lidah digunakan untuk memperkatakan kejahatan si mati atau memperkatakan kebaikan tetapi dengan cara yang tidak beradab ia akan mendatangkan keburukkan kepada si mati.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


it seems to manage the unpleasant feeling is by make time fully occupied.

i tried to be strong in front of my sibling...yet Allah knows what turbulence inside.
a past should stay as a past..yet we move forward and accepting

every start comes with an end.
as son, pray and behave will keep the unseen smile
smile as you will meet him later...

Shouldn't it be a sign from above?
Shouldn't we love Him more as we should?

keep smile...
the world not yet end.
you'll meet your time soon..
it just a matter of readiness
leave and work as you will leave 1000 years..
pray as you will die tomorrow....

oh Allah,
bestow mercy upon Abah.
Keep him close to you, so we can ressemble in here after in your heaven..
I love Abah, I hope you love my father as well.
Oh Allah, only you can tame the wild feeling inside...
me, mak, and my siblings...
guide us to your path...

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